I’m dating myself, but I remember so clearly the famous “Opposite” episode of Seinfeld from 1994. George Costanza mentioned that every single decision he had ever made was wrong. Jerry opined that if every single decision of George’s was wrong, he could turn his life around by always doing the opposite of his natural instincts. And so he does…to hilarious results. He adopts “the opposite” as his personal philosophy.
Well…I kinda get it! The same concept helped me once.
After graduating from U.C. Davis in 1990 with a degree in Psychology, I was floundering and completely lost. I was living with my parents and it was awkward to sit around the house doing nothing as an adult, so I spent large parts of my days sitting at a bench at a local lake or walking aimlessly around it. I was just thinking. Occasionally, I would read a book there…but most of the time I was just staring off into space and thinking.
(I’m reminded of the Rakim line from Eric B is President: “I’m scheming like I’m dreaming on a couch with my feet up.” Or…the line in Dr Dre’s Talking to My Diary where he says, “Sometimes when I got a lot sh** on my mind, I’m just staring at the sky, you probably thinkin’ I’m high.”)
Eventually, I would leave the lake and endlessly browse up and down the aisles of bookstores.
Job? Nope!
A game plan for life? No earthly clue.
One day I picked a book off the shelf because the title hit me like a ton of bricks. I Could Do Anything, If Only I knew What It Was by Barbara Sher.
Yes! That was exactly how I was feeling!
I had no shortage of confidence…I just didn’t know where to direct it. I read the book right there in the store. I can’t remember too much about it with the exception of one piece of advice in one solitary chapter; and the advice seems ridiculous in hindsight.
Go find the wrong job.
That was it.
The pressure and anxiety that surrounded finding the perfect job and ideal career path had led to paralysis and inaction. Releasing it all helped to defeat the inertia of indecision. I could STOP worrying about finding “the perfect thing.” This was so much easier…just go get the wrong job! Literally, pick something you don’t think you want to do, but believe you will he hired for, and go do it.
Guess what? It worked!
It was like a huge weight had been removed and within weeks I was wearing a name badge, a safety belt back brace thingy, and was working retail at an Office Depot. But Barbara had more advice, she said, “You are already working for a company and that company is you.”
Damn! That’s brilliant! Yes! You are your own brand. You are the CEO of your life.
She encouraged seeing the experience as a personal development adventure and to soak up as much as possible. Do everything possible to take control of the circumstances to make the experience worthwhile and enjoyable…but never forgetting it’s not permanent…you can escape whenever you want! Your current job doesn’t define your life’s path. She even recommended scheduling a “Getting Out” party!
I had basically zero interest in retail and close to none in office supplies so I needed to focus on something else. Looking back on it, this was an early experiment in the three areas detailed in the Passion chapter of Teach Like a PIRATE. In #TLAP, I said the deep, dark secret of educators is that we often feel a sense of guilt about not being passionate about all of the content we teach. The answer is to learn how to tap into and draw passion from our professional passions and our personal passions and not just rely on the content.
The Hawley-Smoot Tariff? Not so much! Building rapport with students and creating a relationship of influence? I’m all in!
Once there, I knew I needed to do four things to be fulfilled and successful.
1. I was not excited about the details of the work, but I was excited about being amazing at it. I wanted to dominate it. I wanted to crush. (I wrote more about this mindset in my blog post, Putting On Socks)
And..
Let me just tell you, nobody was better at stocking and organizing the pen aisle than me. I even had my picture on the endcap. I created and then executed a sampling system so that customers could try any pen they wanted. I designed the stocking plan to make it easy for employees to maintain the system even on days I wasn’t working.
2. I focused on providing world class customer service. I knew that was a skill that was transferable to any profession I would eventually end up in..so that is where I placed most of my energy. World-class. Next level. WOW customer service. I wanted customers to come in and look for me.
3. I learned how to do every job in the store which did two things. It kept me from getting bored and stagnant. There was always something new to learn and every day may look different based on the needs of the store. Somebody is sick? I gotchu! It made me indispensable. The best job security in the world is to be irreplaceable!
4. I made a commitment to build strong relationships and rapport with co-workers. Not only did this make work a much more enjoyable experience, it also was another one of those imminently transferable skills to anything I would end up doing in life. Oh! It is also just humaning...and that is important, too! There were at least two relationships I built there where I would categorize my role almost as a mentor or “life coach.” Those skills and strategies have been essential to me as a teacher and as the co-leader of DBC Inc.
I followed the advice about using my time there to improve myself and treat it as a special personal development mission. It also gave me lots of time to think about what I DID want to do. Six months later, my doubt and indecision were gone and I knew I needed to be working with kids. I accepted a high school coaching job almost immediately...and so it started.
One book. One chapter. One piece of advice. It was exactly what I needed to hear at exactly the right moment.
“Even action in the wrong direction is informative.” – Barbara Sher
Where are you stuck? Maybe you need to stop stressing about doing the right thing...and just go do something.
“Action is the foundational key to all success.” - Pablo Picasso
Dave Burgess
PS: For those of you celebrating Thanksgiving tomorrow, Happy Thanksgiving from Shelley, me, and the whole DBC Inc. team. And for ALL of you...we are especially thankful for your support. It means the world to us.