Strangest thing...until this morning, I had gained weight for 6 consecutive days. This was after being down at an all new low and my leanest body fat percentage ever. Sure, I often jump around and fluctuate a bit but never 6 consecutive days of very clear gain. And...here is the strange part...I was running and exercising probably a bit MORE than before and my calories were staying a bit under my target every single day. 

Wait. I know what you are thinking. Maybe I was misjudging my calories and eating more than I thought. People often do that kinda thing. It is important to note that I have obsessively tracked my calories for the last eight months. I could tell you EXACTLY how many calories I consumed on any day since the end of last June. I still don’t think you understand!! I have a food scale and I am not afraid to use it! 

Want more proof? Just to randomly pick a day, on Monday January 13th I had 5.6 ounces of chicken meat and 27 tater tots for dinner. Not 26...not 28...27 tater tots. I. Track. Everything.

Same goes for my cardio. My last run? Tuesday, February 4th. 2.48 miles at a 7’48’ per mile pace for a total of 19 mins and 22 seconds. Ask me any run since Oct 24th, 2018 and I could tell you to that specificity. 

I am not saying this obsessiveness is healthy, by the way! There are probably several blog posts embedded here where we could unpack some of this! I am just trying to impress upon you that I know exactly how many calories I am eating and exactly how much exercise I am doing to burn them. So when I tell you I gained weight 6 straight days while exercising a bit more and eating the same amount of calories or less, I TRULY mean it and know it. Super frustrating! Not in a “I have an issue and can’t function” way, but more of a “How is this possible?” kinda way. 

So where is this going? 

I was eating breakfast with my child, Ash Burgess, and was telling them of my frustrations and their response was immediate. 

“What was the date the weight gain started?” 

I looked it up. Wednesday, January 29th...baseline. Six straight up after that.

Question two made me pause...could it be? 

When did you receive the news?

Lump in my throat, I went back through my text messages. What????? Wednesday, January 29th at 5:23am Hawaii time it came. “I know it’s early...Are you up? Really need to talk to you about something as soon as possible.”

Not a normal message. I quickly got out of bed, found a place I wouldn’t wake anyone, and made the call. 

The news was devastating. Traumatic. Heartbreaking news about a close friend. (No...I’m not going to tell you more. I just can’t yet.) 

It was the start of an anxiety-filled and grief-stricken stretch of days unlike any I have ever experienced. 

Ash looked at me, “That’s it, bud. All that stress and anxiety does weird things to the body.” But...but...weight is a math equation. Calories in...calories out. Ash was insistent. And it was hard to argue, because the timestamp was an EXACT MATCH. 

I told Shelley about it later and she googled it and, by damn, Ash Burgess is pretty dang smart. It took my 16 year old child to see it. I have not been right mentally for a week and this was just one symptom. There are a whole series of articles and studies showing how stress can cause weight gain even WITHOUT an increase in calories or lack of exercise. Mind blown. 

The brain and body and how they process stress, anxiety, and trauma is complex and fascinating. It impacts everything. I haven’t been able to focus. I can’t concentrate for long periods of time. I’m abnormally tired. Irritable. Apathetic about stuff that used to fire me up. 

I am moving forward and will reach the other side, I have no doubt. But it made me think about how important self-care is for educators. It is not just something to consider….it is something we all need to take seriously and commit to being intentional about. 

It made me think about how many people are going through things we have no idea about and that maybe before we are so quick to judge, we should show a little more grace. Life is tough...do you really want to be unkind, judgmental, and ADD to the burdens others carry? Or, do you want to lighten their load and be a source of renewal and inspiration? 

And, of course, it made me think of our students and all of the trauma, anxiety, and stress they carry with them. Maybe that assignment coming in a day late is not such a big deal. Maybe we should just chill out a bit about that pencil they forgot again. Maybe it took all the personal power and intestinal fortitude they could muster to get out of bed and make it to school with what they are dealing with...and when they arrived at the classroom door 30 seconds late, greeting them with a harsh word and a trip to lockout was exactly what they didn’t need...in fact it may have further crushed their world. How much better to smile and tell them, “Hey, it’s all good...I’m just glad you’re here. Come on in.” 

Life is pretty damn precious...and fragile. Take care of yourself and everyone you have the privilege to be connected with. 

Dave

PS: If you are interested in self-care for educators and how to maintain a more balanced life, we have a few resources I can recommend. Dan Tricarico has written two books with us, The Zen Teacher and Sanctuaries, and both are powerful guides to radical and intentional self-care. Jessica Johnson, Sarah Johnson, and Jessica Cabeen wrote an essential guide for how to powerfully balance the complexities of work, family, and personal life in the Lead Like a PIRATE guidebook, Balance Like a PIRATE. Highly recommended. Finally, I think two of our titles with Allyson Apsey, The Path to Serendipity and Through the Lens of Serendipity would be wonderful, as well. 

PSS: One more. Teach Me, Teacher is an unflinching look at the childhood trauma of author, Jacob Chastain, and how it has shaped his views on education and the impact and responsibility of being a teacher. It will make you cry...but then also make you a better teacher. Highly recommended.